"Hey, let's stick him in the washing machine and take a picture of him," I said to Joey.
"Oh, OK." he said, and we got the camera ready.
Henry did not like being in the washing machine. I suppose I can't blame him. After we got several pictures of him looking sufficiently peeved, we took him out. He was EXTREMELY cuddly and clingy. I suppose he thought we were going to turn the washing machine on with him in it or something.
"That was really fun. Let's take the shelves out of the oven and take a picture of him in there." I was totally on a roll now.
Joey looked at me as though I'd taken leave of my senses. (Perhaps I had.) "No way. That's a bad idea."
"Come ON. I haven't used the oven in, like, 2 days so it's not hot or anything." I began taking shelves out. (In hindsight, I see that I may have some submission issues to work on.)
"Look, see, he'll fit right inside!" I picked up Henry and set him inside. He didn't like the oven very much, but he didn't mind it quite as bad as he'd minded the washing machine.
Joey resigned himself to taking a couple of pictures of the poor guy, then he said, "I think Henry is traumatized enough for one evening." But it was too late. I already had that evil glint in my eye.
"I wonder if he'd fit in the microwave..."
"NO!"
"Let's just try...." Since I hadn't totally thought this whole idea through, I picked up Henry and began stuffing him into the microwave. He was a really tight fit and he particularly did not enjoy the rotating glass tray. If I'd been smart I would have taken it out first. (Actually, if I had been smart I wouldn't have tried to see if he'd fit in the microwave...)
We got a couple pictures of poor Henry sticking his head out of the microwave and looking really, really miserable. I decided I'd probably put him into enough strange things for one day, and I tried to get him out.
He was sort of stuck.
"Um, Henry, work with me here..."
Joey was standing over the sink kind of hopping from one foot to the other trying really, really hard not to say "I told you so"! As it became more aparrent that we had an Issue on our hands, I glanced back at him. He looked quite concerned. I was beginning to get concerned myself.
Finally, things began to work. Then I noticed that, along with Henry, the glass tray was coming out too. Just as I got Henry out of the microwave, the glass tray slid to the floor and broke into about 6 large pieces, and dozens of small shards.
"AAAAUGH! YOU BROKE THE TRAY!!!" Joey wailed. I set Henry down and he ran over into the living room. (Poor guy.)
At a loss for what else to do, I began to laugh.
"I'm totally not cleaning that up." Joey said. "YOU broke it." He had a point. It was clear that Joey was Not Happy With Jenna. At all.
I got the big pieces and swept the floor twice. Then I went back to find Joey.
"It was kinda funny..." I started.
He glared at me. "Was not. Those things are expensive!"
I made another tactical error. I laughed. "Oh, how would you know. It's not like we've ever broken the microwave tray before."
He humphed at me and went back to his book.
I sufficiently apologized, wrote down the model number of our microwave, and told him of my lofty intentions to replace the glass tray. He was slightly mollified, but in no way placated.
On the upside, Henry has totally forgiven me. (Although he is sort of wary of the appliance side of our kitchen.)
The jury is still out on Joey, especially since he stepped on a glass shard this morning. It didn't cut him, but it definitely reminded him of what I'd hoped he'd forgotten.
You definitely have to admit that the pictures are hilarious.
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