I Must Be Stressed

When I get stressed out a strange thing happens to me.  My body's chemistry goes all out of whack and I set off those security alarms at places like Target and the grocery store every single time I go through them .  Regardless of a handbag, keys, or purchases from the store.

It's so annoying.

I was slightly concerned that I was about to start setting off alarms again when we were up in Iowa.  The Kid and I went to Target once or twice and, as we walked in the store the alarm immediately began wailing.

I wilted.

"The Kid, I think I'm setting off alarms again,"  I pouted.  "I must be stressed."

"Lady, it's probably true," he replied.

We drove back to Texas a few days later and I sort of forgot about my stressed-out status (mainly because I was spending all my time at work and not having much time to think about anything else), at least until last night.  Joey and I ran into Target to make some returns and, as we went into the store...

BEEEEEP BEEP BEEP

I wilted.  Joey laughed.

We made our returns and left the store - I set the alarms off again.  Carrying absolutely nothing.

We were headed to the cheap theatre to go on a date, but Joey's had this nagging cough the last week and it was really starting to sound painful.  So I insisted, on the way home, that we stop back at Target and pick up some cough medicine for him.  This started Joey in on how he wasn't really sick and no, he didn't need cough medicine because why take cough medicine when it tastes so bad that he starts coughing again anyway.

I made him stop at Target.  We walked in and...

BEEEEEP BEEP BEEP

"You must be stressed out or something," Joey said.

"Yeah, it's you and trying to get you take your cough medicine," I replied smugly.

It took nearly 10 minutes to get him to select a cough medicine, and then I had to listen to him carry on about it the entire rest of the way home.  I then had to find him to get him to actually take the medicine (he was hiding on the floor in the dark in the kitchen), but only after I got him a very large glass of water that he insisted he needed to have before he'd even think about taking the medicine.

I'm not sure which is worse: setting off alarms because I'm stressed or trying to find my hiding husband who doesn't want to take his medicine.