Public Snoring Should Be Banned

Last night, Joey and I went to a choral concert. It was an OK concert (kind of long). After intermission, I began hearing this loudish, obnoxious noise. It could only be one thing:

Snoring.

Some hoser behind us had fallen asleep and was sawing logs to beat the band.

It wasn't so bad in the louder parts of the songs...just when the choir was singing the softer, more emotive pieces. It was quite a distraction, if I do say so myself.

The entire time I was picturing some plump, older farmer with a straw hat and piece of hay in his mouth, slumped down in his seat, piece of hay vibrating every time he snored. I also imagined he had a rather hard-of-hearing wife who had a bright pink floral dress on with big turquoise jewellery. In my mind, I wished she would smack him with her handbag every so often in an effort to get him to stop.

I never got a chance to figure out which person behind me was the offensive snorer, but I sure do like my mental image.

I cannot tell you how much snoring grosses me out. It really bugs me. It especially bugs me at a concert because there's no possibility of kicking/smacking/poking the person who is snoring, because you don't know them.

If you didn't want to go to the concert in the first place and are going to fall asleep, I have two words for you--STAY HOME.

It is my opinion that people who fall asleep and snore loudly during concerts, graduations, and/or church should be fined. I think it should be a steep fine, too. Either that or someone should stand at the door handing out No-Doze.)

Speaking of cows, I had the craziest dream last night.

I dreamt of frosting. Lots of frosting.

I don't really know why, but Joey and I were in China again with our student Lisa. We were at a wedding and had somehow offended the bride and groom in a major, major way.

We were trying to sneak back into the reception because I had noticed that, in addition to cake, they had an entire frosting wall.

It was made of bricks, bricks!, of frosting of all different colors. I really wanted one.

I woke up right before I got a chance to have a frosting brick.

But when Joey came back from the store, he had a surprise for me--a frosted cookie! It had a big, plump flower on it.

I am ashamed to admit that I shrieked, "HONEY!!!! A FROSTED COOKIE!" It wasn't even 8:15 a.m.