I shouldn't admit this, but...

I am one of the most gullible people in the entire world.  I also read fast.  Sometimes when I read fast I miss a word here and there, and missing that word could really affect the outcome of some circumstances.

Please observe just such an event from this weekend.

We were at Irving Bible Church for our Spiritual Formation kickoff.  Joey and I are facilitating a group, and we really like the people who are in it.  They're very cool.

One of the group bonding games was something called The Hendricks Cup. The prize for this game was a huge, golden cup (it was probably 3 feet tall) and the honor of having won it.  The questions were from The Worst Case Scenario game only adapted slightly with DTS references. You can guess what they were like; pretty hilarious stuff.

We were frantically reading and answering our questions to try to get done in time, because our group had been late getting to the worship center. Joey and I read the schedule wrong.  (But at least we were all together in our wrongness...)

One of the questions had something to do with how to moisten your lips if you don't have any lip balm.  The correct answer had something to do with grease from your nose, which is really disgusting.

I thought about this question for the rest of the day.  I was at home later that evening boiling some water for tea (which I may blog about later, depending on the amount of discretionary time I have in front of the internet today; it's a detailed story) when I decided that I needed to try this whole lip-moistening thing.

It said grease from the inside of your nose, right?  I thought to myself.  I took a deep breath and then....stuck my finger in my nose, whirled it around once or twice, and then rubbed it on my lips.

It was disgusting.  But it worked.

"That thing about the chapped lips does seem to work," I told Joey who was sitting on the couch reading some theological tome.

"Oh...that's nice..." he said, absentmindedly.

Yesterday we were having lunch with our friends Mike and Zoe.  I made the mistake of mentioning The Kid and how it makes him really mad when I stick both of my pinkie fingers halfway up my nose (which I can do) and then follow him around. 

Unfortunately,  Mike made me demonstrate.  He was sufficiently disgusted by my skill.  (I can get the tips of my fingers all the way into my nasal passages, if you were curious.)

That reminded Joey of the question involving noses and chapped lips.

"I didn't realize you could use the oil from the outside of your nose to moisten your lips, though."  He said.

"Yeah, that does work."  Mike replied.

I turned pale.  " Outside of your nose?"  I squeaked.

"Yes, outside.  Why..."  Joey asked hesitantly.

"Well, I thought it was the inside.  And I tried it yesterday, remember?"  I was beginning to feel sickly.

"Wait, you stuck your finger up your nose and then rubbed it on your lips?"  Mike asked.

"Yes!!"  I wailed.

Joey is now convinced that I am disgusting and has said that he may never kiss me again.  I prefer to blame it on my speed-reading tenancies.  Obviously I missed a Very Important Word (being, of course, "outside") and am now going to have to figure out some way to get my credibility back.