Pump-a-kins

The best part about Fall is those mellowcreme pump-a-kins. You know, the kind that taste like candy corns? Ohhhhh, man. I am completely addicted. I think they're even tastier because they're only available for 2 months out of the year. This puts the Urgency Factor quite high since one has to eat an entire year's worth of pump-a-kins in just two short months. But I am equal to the task.

Last year I confessed my pump-a-kin addiction to Joey. He, in turn, bought me one of those 2 lb bags of them from Target. I tried very, very hard not to eat the entire bag in one day (you know, sense of urgency and all) but was becoming unsuccessful.

Joey, therefore, put me on a rationing system. I was only allowed to have 8 pump-a-kins a day and the rest were kept in the freezer. Quite disappointing, but altogether better for me.

Fast forward one entire year. Several weeks ago Joey and I were in Central Market getting groceries as we always do on a Saturday mornings. (They have fantastic samples.) We were making our way through the bulk candy section to the dairy case when....

"Ohhhhhhh....." I said, stopping short.

Joey walked a few steps, realized I wasn't with him anymore and had to double back to see what, exactly, had detained me.

It was an huge bin of loose bulk pump-a-kins. And I was standing there coveting every single one of them.

"You can't have all of those," He said. (Mind reader.) "Holy cow, $5 per pound? That's expensive!"

"Can I have some of them?" I asked?

"Sure," he grabbed a plastic bag and put about 10 pump-a-kins in it for me. He weighed it, made a label and handed it back to me.

I eyed the pump-a-kins in the bin. "I need to sample one first to make sure they're tasty enough to purchase."

Joey rolled his eyes and tried to pretend like he was not associated with me as I dashed my right hand into the bin and whipped out a plump, ripe pump-a-kin. I bit off half of it and, very generously I might add, offered to share the rest with Joey.

"OH MY GOSH, this is the best pump-a-kin I have ever eaten." I sighed. Joey took the other half of the pump-a-kin and ate it.

"Yeah, it is pretty good..." he had to admit.

I ate all 10 of those pump-a-kins on the way home from the grocery store. They were unbelievably tasty.

The next Friday I said to Joey, "I'm going to make pumpkin bars tomorrow. I need to buy some of those pump-a-kins to put on top of them for decoration." We counted out how many I'd need and the next day purchased what Joey believed to be the correct amount of pump-a-kins.

I was pleasantly surprised when we got them home and I discovered that he'd bought about 30 pump-a-kins too many.

So I ate 20 of them while I made the pumpkin bars. Twenty. My stomach was starting to not feel so good.

Joey happened over to talk to me as I was baking and noticed that the sack of pump-a-kins was much depleted. "Where did all the pump-a-kins go?!" he demanded.

"Um, I ate 20 of them..." I admitted. "But there's still enough left for the bars." I finished, quickly. I had been Very Deceitful Indeed by eating 20 of those pump-a-kins and I was probably in for it.

Joey made some very belligerent noises and snatched the bag of pump-a-kins off the counter. "You are in big trouble! These pump-a-kins are expensive and I thought we'd agreed on the number. And you say you've eaten 20?! I am confiscating these until you can prove to me they're going on the pumpkin bars."

Busted.

An hour later the pumpkin bars were cooled, frosted and ready to go.

"Can I have my pump-a-kins back now? I need them for the bars." Joey came over, observed that I was telling the truth and produced the bag of pump-a-kins.

He watched as a plopped a pump-a-kin on each of the bars. To my great surprise and astonishment...I had 6 pump-a-kins left over.

"Want this one?" I asked, holding one out for Joey.

He took it from me and popped it in his mouth.

"We didn't count very well." He said.

"Nope," I said with a grin.

And it's a good thing I ate all those pump-a-kins when I could, because Central Market has been sold out since then. I've been trying and trying to go buy some...but to no avail. So if you ever want to win me over and it's in the Fall, just bring me some mellowcreme pump-a-kins and I'll probably be your best friend ever.