My Pops Turns The Big 5-0!!!

Today is my daddy's birthday and, since he's not my mom or a lady, I can tell you all how old he is. He's 50. It's lame that I have to be in Texas on such a comemorative day as today, so I have spent the better part of the morning coming up with amazing things about my dad.

But first, here's 50 ways to say happy birthday. Some are other languages and some are just, well, things I came up with. (You'll definitely be able to tell which is which.)

It's Dad's birthday! Veels geluk met jou verjaarsdag vader! Happy birthday Dad! Feliz cumpleanos Padre! My dad's getting older! Aita Zorionak! Gray hair is great! Happy birthday to you! Sretan Rodendan! 5+ for the birthday boy/man!

Van harte gefeliciteerd met je verjaardag! Dad speaks English; happy birthday! L‡ breithe mhaith agat! Birthday felicitations! Ick wuensch da allet Jute zum Jeburtstach! Happy birthday Pops! Inuuinni pilluarit! A pinch to grow an inch! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Celebrate You!

Birthday. Happy. Joyeux Anniversaire! Hau`oli Lā Hānau! Daudz laimes dzimsanas diena! We like Dad's birthday! Grattis pŒ fšdelsedagen! Dogum gunun kutlu olsun! Make a birthday sale! Many happy returns of the day! Let him eat cake!

appyhay irthdaybay! A Freilekhn Gebortstog! Hppy Brthdy! Bonne Fete! My dad's birthday is better than your dad's birthday! Felichan Naskightagon! 5+ for anyone whose birthday is today! Vsechno nejlepsi! Tracy Lesan would say Vsetko najlepsie k narodeninam!

Picaw-picaw! (that's chicken for happy birthday...) Maligayang Bati Sa Iyong Kaarawan! No working on your birthday, make Mom do it all!! Vse najboljse za rojstni dan! Three cheers for Dad; if we didn't have him we wouldn't have us! Mi fresteri ju! All cats adore Dad and wish him happy birthday! Janmadina subha kankshalu! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DAD! I LOVE MY DAD!

And these are the 50 reasons why MY dad could beat YOUR dad up. He's pretty much awesome. (I had originally made them in an Excel spreadsheet because my Pops is really good at Excel. So you'll just have to pretend that these are in a spreadsheet so you can get the full effecet.)

1. My Pops is great because he has cows.
2. My Pops is great because he is on the missions committee.
3. My Pops is great because he loves my mom.
4. My Pops is great because he is the best realtor in Iowa.
5. My Pops is great because he helped me get down the aisle at my wedding without tripping!
6. My Pops is great because he likes Snickers, Almond Joy and Pepsi and now I do too.
7. My Pops is great because he is the birthday boy.
8. My Pops is great because he likes to go to the Boundary Waters and he lets girls go along too.
9. My Pops is great because he lets me drive his old timey tractors, sometimes even at Old Threshers.
10. My Pops is great because he needs help fixing his cow sprayer.
11. My Pops is great because he knows a million Excel formulas.
12. My Pops is great because he used to play Gitchu with us, and everyone knows Gitchu is the best game ever when you're a little kid.
13. My Pops is great because he taught me how to cut a worm so I could go fishing.
14. My Pops is great because he likes to sing.
15. My Pops is great because he took my mom to the UK and had fish and chips.
16. My Pops is great because he has lots of pairs of wicking socks.
17. My Pops is great because he used to let me have Pepsis and let me sit at his desk when I'd come visit him at St. Luke’s.
18. My Pops is great because he took us tobogganing in the snow.
19. My Pops is great because he let me have a horse when I was in high school.
20. My Pops is great because he does the weed-whacking so the girls don't have to.
21. My Pops is great because he sprayed for wolf spiders for me when I lived in the basement and used to have tons of them.
22. My Pops is great because he bought a rocket when he came to Texas and we shot it off a lot of times.
23. My Pops is great because he likes lima beans, and he's probably the only person in the entire family who does.
24. My Pops is great because he blew himself up when he was in high school in Ankeny.
25. My Pops is great because he likes John Deere.
26. My Pops is great because he gave me boy advice when I really needed it.
27. My Pops is great because he remembers all the old stories about old locations where family members once were, and he tells them to us.
28. My Pops is great because he helped me make pinewood derby cars.
29. My Pops is great because he has the Frog Face. (You know, from Frog and Toad…)
30. My Pops is great because he likes the Wild Wild West and used to bring us home tapes he made for us when he was at work.
31. My Pops is great because he has strange children.
32. My Pops is great because he hangs out with us and our friends.
33. My Pops is great because he always encourages me.
34. My Pops is great because he lets me help with the cows.
35. My Pops is great because he gives me backrubs. Sometimes.
36. My Pops is great because he makes very nice fires in the fireplace on cold evenings!
37. My Pops is great because he takes me to Tractor Supply Company and lets me help pick out cow ear tags. (Except I like green but you never buy green.)
38. My Pops is great because he tried to teach me how to chance the oil in the 2K, but I can't remember how anymore.
39. My Pops is great because he flew me up to Michigan with him when I was in high school. It wasn't very scary.
40. My Pops is great because he let me be his receptionist.
41. My Pops is great because he lets me go fishing with him in the Boundary Waters, even though I talk too much and scare the fish away.
42. My Pops is great because he taught me how to canoe properly.
43. My Pops is great because he usually forgets how movies end and gets real excited during all the jump scenes.
44. My Pops is great because he likes oranges.
45. My Pops is great because he gets into mischief.
46. My Pops is great because he drives with an earbud and is, subsequently, safer.
47. My Pops is great because he has always lived in Iowa.
48. My Pops is great because he knows more about chickens than you do.
49. My Pops is great because he gives nice hugs.
50. My Pops is great (times infinity!) because…he's the only one!

Happy birthday Daddy!!