That Woman

On Friday night we caught a movie with Austin and Audra at the new Studio Movie Grill that was giving out free tickets to DTS students.  It's one of those places where you order a burger or something to eat while you watch a movie in these sort of leather office chairs and eat on little tables.  Quite fun.  (They did not, however, mention that the cost of the food once inside was rather exorbitant for what it was.)

Anyway, we got there ridiculously early.  (I have never in my life been to a movie an hour before it starts, but there's a first time for everything.)  Joey was in rare form, so there was plenty to laugh about/at and we had a nice time waiting first to get in line to be seated, then standing in line to be seated, then sitting in our kooshy leather chairs eating burgers before the movie started.

We sat smack dab in the middle of the sixth row and happily adjusted our bouncing leather seats.  Audra and I are both short (although I think she's maybe an inch shorter?) so the adjustability factor of the seats was nice.

"If no one sits in front of us this will be perfect!" I chirped to Joey as I tried to get my seat to lean back.  I was unsuccessful.

For fifteen minutes, no one was entering the theatre.  It looked like we might have the place to ourselves - which was fine with us - and have a perfect shot of the screen.  A family of three came in and wandered down our row, first picking seats directly in front of us (and I growled and protested fiercely under my breath) then reconsidered and went to our left to pick from some of the six empty tables available.

The wife was a blonde, black cashmere dress coat-wearing, perfectly made-up, woman whose mannerisms screamed "I live in Highland Park and I'm super rich; don't mess with me".  She looked at me and my Little Miss Trouble t-shirt and tennis shoes condescendingly before she placed her hand on the table directly next to me (which had our menus on it and my coat and handbag sitting in the chair), arched her precisely plucked eyebrow and asked with a Dixie-belle accent, "Are you using this table?"

Quite obviously my menus were on it but I said, "No" and moved them off.  She smiled ingratiatingly and sat down at the table beyond the one she'd just made me move my menus off, but not before glancing back my way once more.

"Joey!" I hissed, "That Woman just made me move my menus because she could!"  I shot several glowering looks her way before returning to my hamburger.

Shortly, That Woman glanced quickly back over at me and began scooting the extra table closer to me, ramming the chair with my handbag and coat into me repeatedly.  She did not apologize.

"Joey!!"  I protested.  "That Woman just slammed the table into the chair which slammed into me!"

"Do I need to separate you two?" Joey asked.  I think he found the entire situation amusing.

"No..." I mumbled.

"What is going on over there?"  Audra asked, leaning over their table our direction.  And so I told her how annoying That Woman was going to be during the movie, and how I wished she'd go away.

Then I noticed a lot of movement coming from my left side, and I looked over to see That Woman moving out of her chair into the extra chair that was quite obviously holding my bright green coat and camel colored handbag and sitting on them.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME," I said, not quite loudly enough for That Woman to hear, but just loud enough for me to feel slightly better.  But this time I was really starting to get mad - I mean, who sits on someone else's coat and handbag for absolutely no reason?

"Excuse me," I said with an irritated twinge to my voice, grabbed my things and ripped them out from under That Woman.

"Oh...I'm so sorry." said That Woman.  "I didn't see your things."

I wanted to reply, "But surely you must have felt them on your behind as you sat on them." However, I held my tongue.

Dear readers, before you think I'm some kind of easily irritated jerkface, I must remind you that there were three empty tables on the other side of them, and no one was in the row in front of us.  It's not like the theatre was even close to packed.

"JOEY!!!"  I was getting really mad now, "That Woman just sat on my stuff to get me to move it.  And now...oh my goodness, look, she has moved the chair and angled it towards her and she's now using it as a place where she's storing her stuff."  The cashmere coat was draped elegantly across the arm.

Joey and Austin, who were sitting in the middle of the four of us, exchanged glances and switched places with Audra and I, putting us in the middle and separating me from That Woman, who I surely would have given the What's Up if she'd pulled one more fast one on me.

"What just happened?"  Audra asked, and I filled her in.

The, fortunately, the movie started and I was able to forget about That Woman.  And, because they left before us, I was spared from having to make the right decision not to shoot her dirty looks as we walked out of the theatre at the same time.