In Which I Roast The Thermometer And Bake The Beans

Last night was not a good culinary night for Jenna M. Woestman.

When I got home I quickly prepared the pork loin (sniffing it to make sure it didn't smell spoiled from its 9 hour counter-sitting spell; it didn't), stuck it in the oven, set the table and got to work on my housework for the evening.

I am, by nature and, perhaps, to a fault, an overproductive multi-tasker.

At one point I was concurrently heating the iron, setting the table, fixing my snap beans, and listening to NPR news. I got the snap beans snapped, put in the steamer and set them on the stove to prepare later. I set out the toaster, put two slices of bread in it, finished setting the table, and went to begin ironing.

Joey came home just then and decided that HE was going to do the ironing for me because he loves me so much. So I let him.

I sat on the bed and listened to him tell me about his day while intermittently running back to the oven to baste the pork loin which I was, unfortunately, cooking within and inch of its life to make Absolutely Certain we wouldn't get food poisoning.

Joey finished ironing and I got the shears out and began to trim Henry. (Yes, I know, before dinner. I'm insane.) I'd started to give him a haircut the night before, but it had begun to rain so we had to quit. (I shear him on the balcony.)

Halfway through the haircut I popped up to put the meat thermometer in the pork loin (to test for doneness) and turn on the burner for the steamed green beans.

That completed I went back to shearing Henry.

I finished up Henry's back leg (he looks really, really odd now) and decided that was enough for one night. So I went to check the beans. Oddly enough, nothing was really happening. So I turned the burner down just a touch (something was smelling like it was burning, something on the burner maybe?) and sat down to read a few pages of my book.

Ten minutes later, the burnt smell was growing worse and worse. I went in the kitchen to analyze the situation and, to my great dismay, everything was going wrong at once.

"JOEY! I melted the thermometer!" I wailed.

It was most definitely melted; the screen was completely black and some strange green board and a bunch of wires were sticking out the side. It didn't look like I'd be able to use it again."No, not your favorite one?"

"YES! Maaaaaan, what am I going to do?" I had set it right next to the burner for the green beans and had forgot to move it when I turned the burner on. Such foolishness.

Then I noticed something was odd about the beans.

"I think I forgot to put water in the steamer for the beans." With that statement, Joey was off the couch and over at my side in a minute to survey the damage. And he was trying not to laugh.

"Yes, yes you did." The beans were really burned.

"What are we going to eat for dinner now? All we have is suspicious pork loin!" I dumped the beans into the trash, rather upset with myself.

"I guess we'll eat a lot of it." Joey said. He obviously thought this was funnier than it really was.

And, thus, I roasted my thermometer and baked my beans. Quite by accident.

I am now starting a Buy Jenna A New Thermometer fund, so if you want to contribute don't hesitate to let me know. Otherwise Joey says I'm grounded from thermometers for awhile until I learn my lesson. He's no fun at all.