My decroded toenail has FINALLY FALLEN OFF! (Well, it didn't really fall off, but it's off now, whatever way you look at it.)
If you have missed previous posts about said toenail, you can read about it here, here, here, here, and here. (Or you could just do a label search for "decroded toe; that might be easier.) It's fascinating.
Anyway, yesterday we were doing Ken's roof. It was hot, horrible and altogether unpleasant, but Joey wanted me to help him because his "morale was low". (His mom said it was just because he wanted me to get up there with my short shorts on, which was probably more accurate.)
I threw shingles at the boys for three hours before Deanine and Nancy (my mother in law) took me to Cosco with them. I was really wilty because of how hot and sweaty I had been previously, so I mostly just wandered around the aisles and looked for samples while they shopped.
The weirdest sample I got was a hunk of Parmesan cheese...all by itself. Parmesan is not a flavor I'm going to choose to eat all by itself again. It's good on salad, but not when it's the only thing in my mouth. Ugh.
So after we went to Cosco we headed back to swim and loaf around for the evening. I swammed around for probably half an hour, until I started getting raisin fingers. (Swimming is great, but as soon as the fingers get wrinkly, it's time to get out.)
I'm not sure if it was the water, the tennis shoes I wore up on the roof all day, or what it was, but something Very Strange had happened to my decroded toenail. It's so disgusting I'm really not going to try to explain it to you, either. Just know that my toenail was looking longer than normal because some things had come apart on it.
But it was still attached.
I made my mother in law take a picture of it (probably against her will, it was really disgusting) and I'll attempt to post it later, when I get it. I then decided that I was going to pull off the toenail.
"I'm going to watch!" Joey said, and zoomed over to sit next to me.
"Eww." He said, when he saw what it was doing.
"I know, it's disgusting," I said, slooooowly pulling the nail away. There was no feeling at all, but it was still creeping me out. "AAAAUGH, I can't do it. It's so gross!"
Fortunately for me, there were three nurses present. One of them went to get some tweezers. She sat down in front of me and poked around the toenail for awhile. Then she said, "It's only slightly attached by a little bit of skin. I'm going to pull on three -- ready?"
I nodded."One, two--" She pulled on two, not three.
I jumped.
There was no pain, which was great. She held the toenail in the tweezers and got up to go throw it away.
"WAIT!" I stopped her. "I, um, need that still."
"You need this?" She gestured to the nasty, oozy toenail she was holding.
"Yes...Ineedtomailittothekid," I mumbled. "Can I have a baggie?"
She looked at me Very Oddly (and, frankly, I don't blame her) and fetched a baggie from the kitchen. I deposited the disgusting blackness into it and happily put it in my purse. Then I decided to look at my toe again.
"It's bald!" I crowed, happily. It was so nice to have that hulky black thing off my foot.
Later that evening I was sitting, looking at my toe when I had a very pleasant revelation.
"Joey! My toe looks sort of like Grandpa Richardson's fingers!"
"What?" He was not following me.
"The ones that got caught in the saw? I always thought they were super cool because they were shorter than the others. A couple of them grew back partial nails and they looked exactly like my toenail. So I may never have a normal toenail again, but that's fine because it's my Grandpa Richardson toe."
So I happily fell asleep thinking about my grandpa tuning pianos and playing The Piano Tuning Song (which, he always told me, was the only song he knew so it was the only one he could play for me) with his special hands.
1 comment:
yuck. That's all I have to say about that.
Post a Comment