The Remote-Controlled Whoopie Cushion

Last night, I ran to Wal-Mart (ugh) to pick up some things to make a pumpa-kin swirl cheesecake for Joey's Seminary picnic tomorrow evening. I need to add that Wal-Mart did not have three of things things on my list, so I wound up going to two (count 'em, TWO) other stores. On my way to the checkout I spotted a clearance dump by the front of the store. The "Remote Controlled Whoopie Cusion" caught my eye. Joey would love this! I thought, as I stood there holding the package, hoping nobody I knew saw me. The price tag said $3 (on sale from $7, which was on sale from the original price, whatever that may be) and while I thought that was a little high for the level of sophomoric humor, I knew Joey was worth it. What's discretionary money for, anyway? I rang up my items and noticed that it scanned for only $1. That made my foolish purchase seem a little bit less foolish to me as I bagged up my things and left the store. As I drove away, I dialed up Joey at work. "I got you a present!" I crowed to Joey. "Really? What is it?" "Well...it's a remote-controlled whoopie cushion," I said. Joey was slightly speechless. I'm not sure if this was because he was like "oh man, now I have to act pleased about this stupid present" or he thought "wow, my wife is getting cooler every day!" I choose to believe it was the latter. "Wow...what's the range on the remote control?" Asked Joey, "I want to know if I can set it off from the back of college chapel or in class." Hold it up there, Cowboy. College chapel?! "Um, I'm not party to any of that. And if you use this thing in class, don't you dare tell anybody your wife bought it for you". Joey began listing off some of his wild and crazy ideas for where he was going to use his new toy. I was wondering at my own sanity for purchasing such a thing, thinking I'd made yet another tactical error. This morning, we put the, um, whoopie cushion on the floor by Henry and pressed the button (it has four different, er, "sounds".) Henry began rearing up on his hind legs, pawing the air, and pouncing (like a kitten, I'm afraid) on the whoopie cushion. He'd hunker down and wait for it to...make noise, and then he'd try to pick it up and shake it around. This was pretty hilarious. I grabbed the camera and handed it to Joey, who caught Henry's antics on film. I apologize for the sound effects, they're kind of grody, but if you concentrate on the birds in the background it's not quite so bad. Henry's a kill, though.