Rabid Squirrels and Bird Poo

Perhaps some of you may recall the previous post in which I bemoaned our neighbors multitude of bird feeders. For some weeks now no birds have discovered the feeders.

Until last week.

There's this Stupid Squirrel that lives in the tree that covers both our balcony and the front stairs. He used to sneak on our balcony and look at me with his beady little black eyes, but I got Joey to saw off the branch of the tree that was hanging over our balcony (not sure if that's really allowed, but he did a very nice job of it) and the Stupid Squirrel hasn't bothered me since.

Until, as I said, last week.

Stupid Squirrel found the bird feeders. And he delights in eating any and all the seed in them and he does this pretty much all the time.

Every time I go up the stairs toward our door Stupid Squirrel and I have this uncomfortable face-off.

He dodges one way, I go the other. He jumps nervously about from railing to railing (I'm always afraid I'm going to get bit in the crossfire) and tries to get off the front balcony before I get there.

Thus far he usually just dive bombs for the ground at an extremely painful looking speed. The "splat" noise he makes when he lands is kind of satisfying, but I do feel sort of sorry for him.

Aside from Stupid Squirrel freaking me out every time I go up my stairs, there's a plethora of bird poo covering the railings and sidwalk below.

Not to mention all the seed that Stupid Squirrel spilled when he was decimating the bird feeder.

I think Stupid Squirrel sits on St. Birdfeeder's head and eats the seed out of his little seed bowl because the amount of seed that's been thrown everywhere is just appalling. He has little regard for the starving squirrels in the Mojave Desert or wherever.

And, thus, I am looking forward to our neighbors bird seed being eaten. I am afraid of this rabid Stupid Squirrel who looks as though he's going to bite me for invading "his" territory, and I'm quite finished with all this bird poo.

And yet I know I must "dwell together in unity", so I'm thinking of having someone come steal the neighbors bird feeders so that we can be unified in not having any.

Seems like a good idea to me.

If I get rabies from this squirrel and wind up in the hospital, I expect a lot of flowers from those of you who read this blog and never comment.