Slugworth the Slug

We got some chairs for our patio and, while carrying them up to the apartment, Joey noticed a slug on the railing.

"Oh look, a slug," he pointed out.

"WHERE!?" I asked.

He pointed.

I got my face down real close to the slug. He slimed and oozed away from me, so I blew on him. "Can I take him inside?"

"No." Joey said, ever the hard-nosed stickler.

"Maaaaaaaaan!" I whined, looking back at the slug wistfully.

"Jordan found one of those on Saturday and then he poured salt all over it. The slug got all slimy and then blew up like a jelly doughnut."

"COOL!" I yelled, "Can I do that?"

"NO!" Joey repeated.

Half an hour later it was determined (by Rock, Paper, Scissors) that I was to be the one to go get the John Mayer CD out of my car so Joey could put it on the lappy. I was excessively pleased to see that the slug was still on the railing.

I scooped the slug on to the end of my key (that way I wasn't actually touching the slug) and carried him into the house.

I took him directly to the porch (that way he wasn't actually in the house) and tried to find a spot to keep him. I couldn't find one so I picked a leaf off the oak tree that hangs over the balcony and deposited the slug onto the leaf, slime and all.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Joey asked from the living room.

"Nothing really..." I said, getting down on my hands and knees to watch the slug ooze around. It was too dark on the porch to see him at his finest, so I snuck him into the kitchen.

"Did you bring that slug in?" Joey asked from the couch

"Um......yes? I want to take pictures of him and put him on my blog and it's too dark on the porch. He's cool; everyone needs to see him."



Joey sighed one of those I married the craziest girl in the whole world kind of sighs and said, "OK, fine."

I set the leaf and the slug down on my kitchen counter (editor's note: in the house) and took about 8 pictures. I determined that the slug is one of the coolest creatures that God made. (His eyes and antennae ooze around just like the rest of him, they get sucked in and stuck out really far; it's so cool!)

He's out on the balcony sleeping under his leaf right now, I checked on him before I went to bed. I love my slug.

(Joey named him, by the way, so I think he's forgiven me for bringing the slug in the house.)