My dad is cool.

Few people are as cool as my dad. He does cool stuff like fix John Deere tractors for fun and he has lots of cows. I like cows. Cows like noogies, breaking the water tank, and screwing up the sensor on the sprayer.

Can cows outsmart my dad, though? No way, man. He fixes the water tank and the sprayer like it's his job. Conveniently, the cows break that stuff every time I go home. This means that my cool dad needs me to "help" him fix the stuff. Fortunately this just involves me following Dad down there and watching while he fixes it. I'd probably break it worse than the cows did.

My dad dominates real estate. He is so cool that people buy stuff from him just because he's the greatest realtor in the world. They can, of course, tell this by looking at him. Dollar Generals must be good stores, because my dad thinks they're cool. He likes to send Joey and I to take pictures of them. Hey everybody, shop at Dollar General.

My dad is the greatest dad ever because he takes me to the office with him when I come home. He makes me coffee (hyper!) and then we split bagels and I try to figure out how to do stuff for him. I probably don't do it right but he still lets me help.

My dad is so cool that I can't even list all the reasons. So I'll just leave it at that for today. Salutations, Dad! (He likes red, so that's why I made this red today. Red must be the coolest color.)

And that is why my dad is cool. (I bet your dad can't top that!)

Yay Dad!