J x WM = Schmoe

Joey and I were really tired when we got home last night. We drove straight to Boss' house and picked up Henry (who was insanely excited to see us, he wouldn't sit still for several hours) and got home by 8:00 p.m.

We unpacked in record time, I got a load started and made my lunch, Joey entered the trip receipts, and I took Henry and flopped in our comfy bed to read a book. All by 8:30. It was amazing.

Joey came in about 8:45 and, after a few minutes of playing with our clingy puppy, we decided that we could no longer function as awake people. Sleep was imperative. Henry was put to bed without a peep.

I switched off the light and was half asleep when I heard Joey start to sing "Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner; that is what I truly want to be-e-e, for if I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner, everyone would be in love with me!"

I sat up. Something was terribly, terribly wrong with Joey; singing annoying songs in bed is my job! (Maybe I'm starting to rub off on him? That is not a good thought.)

Joey stopped singing. All was quiet, and then, "You think you're cooler than me because you saw the Weinermobile more times than I did. But you're not."

(Editor's note: The Weinermobile was in town a month or two ago. And we haven't really talked about it since.)

"No, I'm still cooler than you. I saw it one more time than you did so that makes me cooler." I replied.

"No, you're not cooler. Because according to J x WM = Schmoe, you're not cooler."

"Excuse me?"

"Jenna x Weinermobile = Schmoe. Now, the value of Schmoe is consistent (so it has to be 0), so Jenna x Weinermobile must be inverse. The more times you see the Weinermobile, the less cool you are. The less times you see it, the more cool you are. That's why I'm cooler than you."

Stunned by his, um, logic, I was speechless; all I could do was laugh at him. So I did.

He continued on in this manner for a few more minutes before he started making equations about something else. I can't rememer what it was, though. Fortunately he fell asleep soon after, because I was really starting to worry about him.