The USPS and Rubber Cement are a Bad Combination

In a valiant effort to save taxpayer dollars, I spent the last twenty minutes peeling unused stamps off old envelopes. I'm doing a mailing and I found about 6 envelopes in our stamp drawer with perfectly good stamps on them.

Some of those stamps were so old they had permanently adhered themselves to the envelope. This caused problems when I tried to remove the stamps, about 3 of them ripped in half. So, on the sly, I threw them away.

Once I removed the stamps, I had to figure out how to reapply them. We don't have double sided tape or glue. The only thing even remotely close is some rubber cement we have hidden high up in the cupboard (seriously, it's so far back I have to climb on the counter to get it), and the last time I tried to use that stuff the only thing it stuck together was my fingers.

There isn't a brush in the rubber cement so, after looking around quickly to make sure no one was watching, I shook up the bottle and stuck my finger as deep as it would go (which wasn't very deep). I wound up with a small amount of rubber cement, which I applied to the first stamp.

It didn't stick to the envelope.

I shook harder and applied more to the next stamp. It didn't stick either.

My fingers, however, did stick together.

Covertly, I closed up the rubber cement bottle and threw it back up into the cupboard. I went to the sink to try to wash my hands and only succeeded in making the rubber cement more cementy and more rubbery.

I could see this was not going well. After a few more scrubs, I resigned myself to have a cementy, gummy pointer man finger for the rest of the day.

--Update--
I have gotten most of the rubber cement off my finger now, but the stamps are still not adhered to the envelope. They're pretty much not sticking at all. I have given up and thrown them away.