Burnt Toast

I'm always hungry. It seems to be a fact of life with me. This morning I purposed in my heart to make two pieces of whole-wheat toast with crunchy peanut butter on them. And eat them.

All we had in the kitchen was all-natural organic crunchy peanut butter, but I was not to be dissuaded.

I put the toast in the toaster (we have a conveyer-belt style one), and stood by to watch it. It was not toasting at all, so I turned the speed down a bit and put the bread back in.

Instead of paying attention to what I was doing, I started poking the peanut butter and trying to make my knife stand up straight in the jar.

Then I smelled it.

Smoke was pouring out of the toaster. I bent down to check the damage but couldn't see since my eyes watered so quickly. The toast hadn't fallen into the tray yet, so I sped up the belt.

The toast was charred black.

I threw it away before anybody knew it was me that did it. I then set about making two more pieces of toast.

Those turned out great, but the kitchen smelled awful. Somebody came in and commented on "that person who left the toast in way too long". I played along like I had no clue what they were talking about.

I tried smearing the all natural organic crunchy peanut butter on my toast and realized that I had a problem.

It wouldn't stick to the toast! (I suppose this is a good sign that it won't stick to my ribs, either?) I scooped more peanut butter out and, after several attempts, got some to stick. I took a bite.

VERY plain. (No sugar added and whatnot.)

Not to be put off, I grabbed some sugar and shook it all over the peanut butter.

So much for the all-natural, sugar-free organic...