I Am An Ambulance Chaser

Mom and I woke up at about 10:45 this morning. (Yes, it's a Sunday morning but we spent ALL NIGHT in Duncanville in the ER with my cousin Matt. Mom, The Kid and I got back at 5 a.m. and Pops and Joey got back at 8 a.m. But more about that later.)

Since all the boys were still sleeping, we were bored. And Henry was so confused that we were all still sleeping and was running around whining. Mom and I decided we ought to go for a walk since it was sunshiney bright and 71 degrees!

We harnessed up Henry and headed out the door.

Not a few paces out the door, Mom checked her messages and realized that she had one from Matt's dad, so she wanted to call him back Right Away.

We stopped to do so in the shade by the Dumpster.

Not being entirely "with it", I sort of stood around and kept Henry from climbing into said Dumpster. (Not an easy task, that kid has tons of energy.)

I noticed an ambulance with its lights flashing drive slo-o-o-wly by and said, "Oh look, Mom, more emergency vehicles." As we'd just spent our entire night in an ER, we were still feeling rather chummy with those in need.

The ambulance passed us and drove out of the parking lot.

I noticed a guy about my age who was barefoot and in is underwear (rather awkward) trying to wave the ambulance down. I debated for a few moments if I should speak to Capitan Underpants guy to find out if he really WAS flagging the ambulance, or if I should just turn around and pretend he didn't exist.

I decided I'd better talk to him.

"Do you need me to chase that ambulance down for you?" I asked Capitan Underpants.

"YES!" He said, shifting around awkwardly. I handed Henry to Mom, dumped my water and keys, and took off running in my flip-flops.

I am not in good shape.

I got out to the road and didn't see the ambulance anywhere. I could then go right or left. I prayed real quick and chose left.

Bingo, there was the ambulance.

I started waving like a madwoman while running toward them. They looked at me like I was insane, then they quit looking at me and turned the corner. I yelled "HEY!!"

I decided that ambulance guys probably don't carry weapons, so they couldn't shoot me. I got up in the driver's side window and continued my wild gesticulations. "He's over there!" I yelled.

The driver finally looked at me. "I know where the apartment is. Follow me!" I yelled, and took off running again.

Again, I am not in good shape.

I ran back to the complex, turned around, and noticed that the ambulance wasn't there. Seriously frustrated with those guys, I got ready to run back and get them again when they came around the corner.

Capitan Underpants wasn't standing outside anymore, which concerned me, but as soon as the ambulance came back he reappeared, still wearing his underwear. (Personally I'd have put some pants on before the ambulance showed up, but that's just me. I guess Texans are a little, um, different?)

We got the ambulance and Capitan Underpants connected, Capitan Underpants waved to say "thanks" and mom and I headed off on our walk.

It has been the strangest morning of my life.