The Black Bean

Joey, Mother-in-Law1 (aka Nancymom) and I went to Altoona to purchase some paint for the living room. We had lofty intentions of painting it this afternoon and, fortunately, we did. I am currently wearing a huge t-shirt with cows and sunflowers on it (what could be more blissful?) and am covered in paint from head to toe. Predominantly due to the fact that I lost my balance and crashed into a freshly painted wall.

Occasionally I lack finesse.

But what I lack in finesse I make up in mischief, which is precisely where I was going with this before I got sidetracked by this painting tangent.

While at Applebees I ordered Cajun Lime Tilapia which came with this strange "salsa" that was more like pico made with black beans. In order to save calories for the ginormous cookie I was planning to get from HyVee (you know, the kind with about a pound of frosting on them that they have back in the bakery section?) I skipped the rice and the pico/salsa.

I was rather disappointed by this since I did like the "salsa", even if it did have an identity crisis.

But again I digress! (I think the paint fumes are making me more nuts than usual.)

The waiter came by and cleared our plates. We waited for our check to come and I noticed that there was one lonely black bean sitting on the table in front of me.

Poor little black bean.

I began to think of things I could do with it.

• I could throw it on the floor (boring)
• I could flick it across the table at my mother in law (ill advised)
• I could eat it (nasty)
• I could stick it in Joey's pants
  

I suddenly opted for sticking it in Joey's pants. I grabbed the lonely black bean and shoved it in the leg of Joey's shorts.

"HEY!" He hollered as a waitress walked by. "Don't put beans down my shorts!"

The waitress whipped around to look at us with an appalled look on her face.

"It was only one bean." I said.

"See what I have to live with?!" Joey asked his mom, with his head in his hands. He then proceeded to explain the Double Portion hypothesis.

But at least that poor lonely black bean was no longer sitting on the table looking sad and pathetic. It was now squished inside Joey's shorts.

Hmm, maybe I should have left it on the table...