Indecent Exposure

OK, I am seriously traumatized.

I was headed downtown to do my telemarketing. Like normal. I drove myself this morning because I wanted to get some extra house cleaning done. I didn't want to make the other girls late if it took me longer than expected.

I took 235 and got downtown much faster than I thought I would, a whopping 17 minutes! There I was driving down 7th St, and walking down the sidewalk is a woman wearing a red, flannel jumpsuit. This is all well and good, but there's a big flap of material missing from the back side of this jumpsuit. Yes, it's the part that covers up her bum!!!

Where are the police? I think to myself, Should they not be arresting this woman for indecent exposure?

I drive around the block and park on 6th. As I'm walking the block and a half to the building I work in, I see her again! She's taken the corner and is walking down Locust. Oy vey.

Oh look! The police!

I hope they see her, but unfortunately Mr. Officer has tunnel vision, and besides the lady in the red jumpsuit is facing the police car. I thought about running into the street and knocking on his window to tell him about the lady with the incomplete outfit, but I decided against it. I thought maybe I'd get arrested for Jay-walking.

The plot thickens.

As I'm waiting for the light to turn, Ms. Cold-Bum stops right outside the Wellmark Blue Cross/Blue Shield building. Two people run up to her, shriek, and give her a hug. Uh oh, I thought, This cannot be good. Are they in cahoots?! Sure enough, they're carring red jumpsuits in their arms.

The bum lady goes INTO the Blue Cross/Blue Shield building. The couple go in with her and they're all talking excitedly. I can't figure out why the security people haven't kicked Bum Lady out of their nice, respectable building. (I figure it's because she's facing the windows. Oh goody, everybody outside can see, just not those security guards.)

The light turns green and I cross the street and enter my building. Fortunately, nobody inside is wearing a red jumpsuit, sans bum cover.

Aparrently, some radio station is having a fund raiser downtown today called the Red Flannel Run. You're supposed to wear your red flannel to come run to raise money for some charity.

I don't think a red flannel jumpsuit with a big hole in the bum is quite what they intended.