This morning, on the way to go telemarket, I had three near death experiences.

I was driving down 1st Street to pick the girls up, and slowed down to make my turn. It's always a bad patch right there, and I hit some ice and, instead of turning, went straight for the curb. At, probably 15 miles an hour. I pumped the brakes, I tried turning my wheel (no luck, I went toward the curb regardless) then finally just LAID on the brakes. Amazingly, the car stopped a few inches from the curb.

No airbags were yet deployed.

I was very thankful that nobody was sitting at that stop sign, for I'd have surely hit them. Anyway, I almost died.

I got the girls and we poked down the road to telemarket. Some ginormous SUV decided to hit their brakes. I'd been following at what NORMALLY would be a safe distance, but when there's ice under the snow...I don't think there is such a thing as a safe distance. Anyhey, I started pumping my brakes.

Nothing. I didn't even slow down.

Stinkin, I thought, Now I'm going to crash my car into the back of an SUV.

Mr. SUV suddenly veered off the road to turn into White Birch. I've never been so happy to see somebody turn at "the last minute" before. I wish he'd have bothered to use a turn signal. Oh well.

At any rate, no air bags were deployed.

So now we're heading down 2nd Avenue at about 40 miles an hour. I was meticulously trying to stay in the tracks of those who had gone before me, when I slid off the road. Of course at that spot, there's a real steep drop off, so I fought and fought with my steering wheel to get the car BACK on the road, not wobbling between the cement edge and gravel.

After a few harrowing seconds, I got car got back on the road, swerved over into the left lane (overcompensating!) which was thankfully empty, and then back into the right lane where I belonged.

And yet, no airbags were deployed! Whew.

Maybe I can just spend the night here at work...I don't wanna go back out there! I might die, or wreck my poor Saturn!