TRUE STORY

I wander into the bathroom this morning with a huge stack of towels that I'd just folded. (The stack was way too high, by the way, I almost dropped them in the trash can.) Joey was in there putting gel in his hair.

"Good morning," says me.

"I had a really weird dream last night," says he.

"Oh really? So did I, but you go first." I started stuffing the towels in the cupboard. It was a tight squeeze.

Joey washed the gel off his hands. "I dreamed that I was down getting the mail and started flipping through it. You had a subscription to Better Homes and Gardens in there and on the cover it said 'Is Your Husband Annoying? Trade Him in for a Million Dollars Worth of Used Action Figures!' and I thought, 'Wow, that's not a very good trade.'"

"Not only that," I said, "But it's not quite a Better Homes and Gardens specialty. Not only do they not generally trade in husbands, I bet they don't really have a million dollars worth of used action figures just lying around. What do you think they'd do with all the husbands that got traded in?" I smashed in the last towel.

"Who knows. Wanna trade me in?" Asked my slightly sleep-foggy husband.

"No way!" I said. "Not only are you a whole lot less annoying than I am, but I have no idea what I'd ever do with a million dollars of used action figures. I don't even know what I'd do with a million dollars worth of new action figures! I'll take you over action figures any day."

Three things:
1. I do not actually get a subscription to Better Homes and Gardens
2. No, I probably won't tell you what my dream was. (Unless you email me, and unless you're a girl.)
3. I have no mini marshmallows to eat while telemarketing today.