No, I Didn't Steal Anything, Officer

Certainly a person such as yourself can understand how terribly frusterating it is to set off the security alarm every single blessed time you leave a store.

I have this problem every so often and I'm not really sure why. (Maybe stress?) For some reason unbeknownst to me or Joey, I set off the alarm at Target, Walmart, HyVee...you name it. It used to be kind of embarassing, but after this happening off and on for about a year and a half, I've gotten used to it.

I actually used to dig through my purse to see what it was in there that could be setting off the alarm. Then I noticed the alarm would go off even if I didn't have my purse, and even if I didn't have my cell phone. Aparrently it's nothing electronic, not even my car keys, because I can leave that stuff in the car and still set the darn alarm off.

Last night before church I went to Target with Joey to pick up some hot chocolate for him to drink while he studied. We were walking out talking very intensely about some Very Interesting Things that had happened to me at work that day. Then----

BEEEEP BEEEEEP BEEEEEP BEEEEEP

I threw up my hands, made a "AAAAAAAUGH!" noise, and didn't even turn around to see if any of the store employees were following me to "take down the shoplifter" with numb-chucks and pepper spray. (No, it wasn't the hot chocolate we had bought. The day before I'd been in Target by myself, without my cell phone and didn't buy anything and I still set the alarm off.)

After church we realized we'd forgotten marshies and cool-whip, so we stopped at HyVee.

Sure enough, I set off the alarm. And I screamed there, too.

The Kid says that screaming may not be the best thing to do, he thinks I might get arrested or something. But...but...I seem to set those things off just from being alive and breathing, so it's super annoying and I ought to be entitled to a good "aaaaaugh" every so often, right?

At least I'm not one of those people who blows lightbulbs when they walk under them, or drains watch batteries in 5 minutes. (I know people who do those things, so I didn't make that stuff up.) That could get expensive, having to replace lightbulbs all the time.

No, when I get stressed I set off security alarms.